Written by Nicolette Toher, Victoria Trevizo, Leah Korenberg, Diana K. Vilchis, Jacob Batalla, & Destiny Morris
Photographed by: Gregory Ferraro
“How do I get more b*tches?”
You definitely need to put yourself out there! Btches definitely don’t fall into your lap, no matter how conventionally attractive you are. No one goes up to people to ask for their number anymore. Do it! Start a conversation! Accidentally bump into each other, make them drop all of their books, and have a meet-cute of helping them pick their books back up while making oddly intimate eye contact! Put work into yourself, whether it be outside or inside. Btches don’t like a**holes. Be a kind person, but also make an effort to maintain good hygiene and style. This can also have a domino effect on confidence. I follow a “look good, feel good” mentality. Trust me, it helps! But when it comes down to it…. It’s all you, babe. You got this!
Kisses,
Nicollette
“Am I worthy of being loved or will I ever find a true connection? I long for the feeling of actually being present in the moment and forming a bond that I feel will be permanent, not temporary.”
Of course, you’ll find love and connections, doll! It’s incredibly challenging to truly connect with someone romantically. However, being loved and forming true connections does not only come romantically– look to your friends, too! It isn’t a coincidence that people refer to their friend groups as “chosen family.” Everyone is worthy of finding people who will feel permanent in their life. Even if it isn’t now, it doesn’t mean it never will. With that being said, don’t self-sabotage and think you aren’t worthy of the connections you already have. You’re surrounded in love, even if it isn’t romantic, even if you don’t see it right away. Cringe, but I recently saw a quote I really liked… “Don’t go in search of love, go in search of life, and the life will bring you love.”
Lots of love,
Nicollette
“How do you support your partner’s mental health and your own when you both have highly stressful jobs?”
Coming from a diva dating someone who sometimes works 50+ hours a week, I get it. It sounds so f*cken cliche, but remember why you’re in a relationship because they aren’t always easy, and you must be willing to do the work.
Some things that might help are constantly checking in on each other, and I don’t mean “’Hi, how was work?’ I mean, REALLY listen! Sometimes your partner may not always want advice or a solution; they want to be heard. So always listen first and ask what they need from you.
A huge part of a relationship is recognizing your capacity to provide for your partner. You may not always be able to give 100%, but that’s perfectly okay. When things are difficult, my partner and I set time aside to rest. Sometimes that’s together and sometimes that’s separate. The thing about love is it’s about finding a balance and giving each other grace. Remember, love isn’t just about showing up for fun dates, but also about showing up when it’s hard..
Lots of love,
Victoria
“Started talking to a guy 3 weeks ago and he mentioned wanting to party and meet other girls for Halloween, but he encouraged me to do the same. We aren’t exclusive, but him telling me that just gave me the fattest ick and now I’m quickly losing interest. I think I’m looking for something more serious, so should I just let him go?”
He definitely had a casual mindset going into your initial talking stage and isn’t looking for a serious relationship based on his Halloween plans. I would drop him immediately. You should spend Halloween night with your girlfriends anyway, which is always much more enjoyable, and you’re guaranteed that a man won’t ruin your fun! When you get out, you could be on the prowl and keep your options open; you can meet new people anywhere. I’d advise that if you’re looking for a serious relationship, you have to let the person know your intentions as soon as possible so you won’t scare them off later; otherwise, you’ll end up feeling like you’ve wasted your time. The second you get an unwelcoming vibe from a man, run for the hills because no one deserves a boyfriend from hell!
XOXO,
LK
“Situationship came back for the 10th time and when I asked what he wanted me to say he replied “I want you to say how much you miss me and want to go to dinner with me”. Im finally over him & don’t want to see him again but it’s clear he just is wanting to talk to me for his ego right?”
First of all, you shouldn’t have given him one, let alone ten chances to begin with, girl!! I don’t think you should be giving this man the time of day and stand on business by ghosting him. He’d better have at least one redeeming quality for you to keep letting him back into your life, like a bedroom quality if you get the idea. He wants to have an unhealthy hold on you. But you deserve consistently, someone who wants to be with you because they genuinely care for you, rather than someone who takes advantage in several ways. By him saying he wants you to want him signals that he’s self-absorbed and isn’t actually considering your feelings, but only his carnal desires. Stay away from narcissistic men, they are literally the black plague!!!
XOXO,
LK
“I do not believe in romantic love; only platonic. This can be confusing for when sexual desire is mixed in. Especially for men.”
Platonic love: the love you feel for close friends and family members. It’s an emotional bond, unlike romantic love, where intense passion and sexual desires play a factor. When emotional bonds are created, you want something more than a friendship. A connection starts to form; it’s not about believing in romantic love but feeling it and experiencing it. You may not believe it, but due to the fact that you have not felt that spark with another person, the peace of mind someone can bring, the pit in your stomach you feel every time you see or hear their name. There is no timeline for when you are supposed to experience romantic chemistry. The clock is in your hands, go on that date and give yourself the opportunity to experience the possibility of finding love. Not every person you go on a date with is going to give you that butterfly feeling. As for sexual desires playing a role in romantic love, being sexual with another individual does not mean that it is love. It can get confusing when you’re intimate, but you’re only connecting on that sexual level. Give yourself the chance to experience it and let the cards unfold. You may feel that connection you wouldn’t have thought possible.
XOXO, Diana
“How do you tell your parents you’re moving in with your boyfriend? While coming from a traditional Hispanic household?”
Telling your parents you’re moving out is never easy, but that’s life, and life alone isn’t easy. You’re growing up, and trust me– I get it– those family dynamics, cultural expectations… It’s a lot to juggle. But here’s the thing: it’s YOUR life, and you get to design it!
First off, get real with yourself. Why do you want this? What are your dreams, and how does moving out help you get there? Having a clear vision makes it easier to talk about.
Next, plan a heart-to-heart conversation with your parents. If your family expresses concern, it can feel like a storm cloud over your sunny plans. Remember, their worries often stem from love and a desire to protect you. Take a deep breath, acknowledge their feelings. Choose a time when you can all sit down and chat without distractions. Let them know how much you value their opinions, but also share your hopes and plans. Be honest, be open and be ready to do what is best for you at the end of the day, rain or shine.
If you’re comfortable, consider including your partner in the conversation. Sometimes, hearing from the person you’re building a life with can ease your parents’ worries. Or, your partner could even ask for their blessing – it’s a sweet gesture that shows respect.
At the end of the day, it’s about being true to yourself and building the life you want.
Communication and respect are key, and hopefully, your family will come around. You’ve got this!
XOXO, Diana
“So there’s a guy I’m kind of into. He is so sweet, hot, and has the most gorgeous green eyes. But we have a 6-year age gap (20 and 26). Should I pursue him?”
Hey babes! Honestly, I think you should consider the age difference as a factor. Believe me, we all have been in situations with someone older. The power dynamic between the two of you kind of leans towards him, which maybe is something you would like to consider. I would say you should test the waters with him first before you get too deep into him. At least get a meal out of it in case it goes south.
XOXO, J
“Any good date night spot recommendations nearby campus?”
To be honest, go to Disneyland. I know Disneyland is a crazy option for a date price-wise, but you are able to do so much stuff and it’s so near campus. You really get to know a person, spending time with them at a theme park. It would be so cute doing nighttime stuff like watching the fireworks and even going on rides. On the cheaper end, maybe going to a park and watching the stars would be really cute. A great lookout point would be Mountain View Park, it is about 5 minutes from campus. You can have an intimate moment with them there.
XOXO, J
“How do I prioritize self-care and mental health with such a busy schedule?”
As a full-time student taking on a part-time job, participating in student athletics, clubs, Greek life, and commuting an hour to campus, I understand the struggle of feeling like there’s no time to prioritize yourself. My biggest tip would be to use a calendar to write down EVERYTHING on your schedule. I mean everything from work, homework, and self-care. Find a stress-relieving activity and set aside a few days out of the week to engage with it. I personally like going to the gym and painting my nails as a form of self-care. Another stress reliever, especially when I’m inside all day with homework on the back burner, is to pause whatever I’m doing and just take a ten-minute walk– usually with my dog. It’s a nice way to get some fresh air and some physical activity, especially when a full workout doesn’t fit in the schedule that day. Good luck!
XOXO, Tiny
“I’m a freshman, is it worth it to get into a relationship in college or will I be too busy?”
I’m a junior and I’ve been dating my boyfriend since my senior year of high school, and he doesn’t even go to CSUF. I think with proper time management, anything is possible—and I’m a very busy student! If you’re looking for a long-term relationship and are ready for one, I say go for it!
XOXO, Tiny